30 Years Of Sorrow Revisited
Poetry Writing and Ruminations
Friday
What Fresh Heaven Is This?
Cracks of sun penetrate the white room
Gone is the grey cover of sky.
I dreamt of this, but was unsure it was in my future.
Was unsure the winter would end,the ice would break and stream down river.
Now, rivets of dirty water and mud meld beneath my feet,
I track it everywhere.
The pond of a backyard is a backyard again.
A place for horses to run without injury.
The animals were trapped as was I.
Their strength astounded me.
Strays, foxes,deer all showed up looking ready for the hunt!
I smell the spring buried deep
on it's way up.
I smell it with all I have.
Monday
Friday
Tuesday
Monday
The Snow Road
In winters time the road calls me towards a baptism
It commences with the blessings of water,
floating in tight, feathered snow
I arch back and the prayers fall about me
silent in the sway they hold
Supported by parishioners of
Oak
Maple
Evergreen
My church is thick with love,
thick with delight
Hymns are sung from close and far
by those who have survived the cold
In winters time the road calls me
I answer…
Ready.
It commences with the blessings of water,
floating in tight, feathered snow
I arch back and the prayers fall about me
silent in the sway they hold
Supported by parishioners of
Oak
Maple
Evergreen
My church is thick with love,
thick with delight
Hymns are sung from close and far
by those who have survived the cold
In winters time the road calls me
I answer…
Ready.
Saturday
Wednesday
The Mayflower's Prize
We are pilgrims,
navigating the channels of what will become
familial possession
Each one is mine, mother says...
Each one is mine, father says...
Having arrived or so it seems, to rest in this new country
A map of the beginning tucked in our breast
We have unfolded this land,
plucking from our pockets the seeds of certain destiny,
the genetic markers of both human and soil
We look beyond for strength,
expected guides,
but find nothing
Do we all travel alone at first?
Surely God will send a companion,
a comrade who knows the way
Surely God will send another,
One cannot have war without enemy.
navigating the channels of what will become
familial possession
Each one is mine, mother says...
Each one is mine, father says...
Having arrived or so it seems, to rest in this new country
A map of the beginning tucked in our breast
We have unfolded this land,
plucking from our pockets the seeds of certain destiny,
the genetic markers of both human and soil
We look beyond for strength,
expected guides,
but find nothing
Do we all travel alone at first?
Surely God will send a companion,
a comrade who knows the way
Surely God will send another,
One cannot have war without enemy.
Rounded Nights
Perched in grief, she sat at the edge of the bedA continuous sorrow flowed easily from her lungs
That year seemed a decade really...
A decade where tears sang under my door every night calling me to her side
I was struck dumb at my mother's broken heart
I would have done anything to correct this error,
this miscalculation of our future
But my thirteen years held no education
My education was to follow this decade of a year
I became a daughter wise beyond my father's infliction upon my mother's heart
Wise beyond the belief that restitution would ever be made
Saturday
Burden Of Substance
The world is emptied of two
Neglect chose their early leave
One in search of ease,
cooked a black tar for her veins
Poisonous soup
Did she know she would drown?
More poison than blood lured her from here
********************************************
One in search of virgin strength,
left the early cure alone
Her lungs grew tight with pneumatic promise
The closing had begun
no recourse
no remedy
Did she know she would drown?
The breath that had carried her, swiftly took her
It was not the same porous air consistent to life
Now we remain, minus two
Neglect chose their early leave
One in search of ease,
cooked a black tar for her veins
Poisonous soup
Did she know she would drown?
More poison than blood lured her from here
********************************************
One in search of virgin strength,
left the early cure alone
Her lungs grew tight with pneumatic promise
The closing had begun
no recourse
no remedy
Did she know she would drown?
The breath that had carried her, swiftly took her
It was not the same porous air consistent to life
Now we remain, minus two
Friday
Thursday
Sunday
An American Education
The blues escorted us into the schoolday
where we assembled
Half poised with blurred eyes and dulled intellect,
drugs in our pockets and knives in our shoes,
we sat
Education as a container does not hold.
Not the dated histories
Not the scientific violations
Not the ancient english
We all planned escape
but instead studied aversion
Disappointment disguised as instruction taught us to hide our gifts and grow the scars of apathy that kept us seated.
A forsaken mass,
unable to disengage.
Two thousand hours given at america's table.
sitting,
starving,
at america's table.
Red Cups
There they hold, two red cups,
red as my hearts vein
Green stock support cups of kissable crimson
From below these vessels call your eyes,
call them into folded hands,
hands that bleed unto your romance
Scissors armed,
you cut this power off at the principle,
so you think
Clutching these kissable reds close to your intention,
your absurd intention
but they burn
burn through your fingers,
your romance,
your shape
Opening your flesh to the possibilities of a heart won
Cutting slivers, silly slivers of desire into perfect, perfect cups
Father Bird
Crow you cockeyed bastard
Unfold the wings that feather your simple heart
Spill those seeds of virtue,
Father Bird
Ripe with faithless lore
Scratch out a path in the dirt for us children,
Father Bird
Dark as you are,
Sharp as you are,
Youth plucks from you,
skill
Your talons miss our flesh
Miss it by a mile
Unfold the wings that feather your simple heart
Spill those seeds of virtue,
Father Bird
Ripe with faithless lore
Scratch out a path in the dirt for us children,
Father Bird
Dark as you are,
Sharp as you are,
Youth plucks from you,
skill
Your talons miss our flesh
Miss it by a mile
Monday
Blue
She whispers above my breast,
I sweat diamonds
With no wind as symphony,
we shake the shadow of a thousand winters
never to ache in a frantic language
or worship a bitter picture away.
How sweet beneath her appetite am I?
Her skin a submission for the seeking
swindling time from sleep
Languid in our tiny blue garden,
may it not be a fancy
but essential music
Friday
Walking On Water
They were all lined up,
walking on water.
Waiting patiently for their turn.
Woman and children first.
Woman and children first.
Chivalry is not dead.
On that bitter cold January afternoon
grace was visiting the Hudson.
No Fires,
No Drowning,
No Sorrow.
Not that day.
When each hand reached out for salvation,
never were they turned away or found alone.
They were all lined up,
walking on water.
Patiently each one was pulled to safety
leaving behind a ripple of a miracle.
Tuesday
Angels In The Field
When she left that morningI told her to drive carefully.She smirked.Drive recklessly then, I barked.
Later she called me
I could hear her moaning
and dialing
9-1-1.
Trying over and over again.
I called her name, but she couldn’t hear me.
All I heard was the same three tones
9-1-1
9-1-1
I felt my belly restrict and go cold
Lost out there somewhere was she
Again she moaned.
9-1-1
9-1-1
I hung up.
It wasn’t me she needed.
Later I found out she had flew.
just minutes after leaving me.
She had landed in a farmer’s field.
Hidden from the road.
9-1-1
9-1-1
The angels that spared her, sent for help.They arrived to find her broken
I had barked at her that morning.
Drive recklessly I said.
I threw away her bloody clothes
On my knees…
I thanked the angels who spared her
That night I walked to the field
Under the winter sky
I felt the brush of wings on my face
Monday
A Walk at Dark
I move thru town, gliding on the streets like a 6 year old.
The streetlights create arcs, making the night a strange sort of day.
The snow comes down like rice at a wedding.
Tonight it's easy, effortless.
My breath tells me it's winter but tonight there's a cease fire.
Tonight spring has invaded for a moment.
Just for a moment.
I don't let the ice fool me.
Tonight I am warm,warm,warm.
I move thru town, gliding on the streets like a 6 year old.
No cars, no wars, no talking heads.
Just the sound of my boots and breath.
The streetlights create arcs, making the night a strange sort of day.
The snow comes down like rice at a wedding.
Tonight it's easy, effortless.
My breath tells me it's winter but tonight there's a cease fire.
Tonight spring has invaded for a moment.
Just for a moment.
I don't let the ice fool me.
Tonight I am warm,warm,warm.
I move thru town, gliding on the streets like a 6 year old.
No cars, no wars, no talking heads.
Just the sound of my boots and breath.
SongBird-Written By Christine McVie/Fleetwood Mac
For My Soraya-
For you, there'll be no more crying, For you, the sun will be shining,
And I feel that when I'm with you, It's alright, I know its right
To you, I'll give the world
To you, I'll never be cold cause I feel that when I'm with you,
It's alright, I know its right.
And the songbirds are singing,Like they know the score,
And I love you, I love you, I love you, Like never before.
And I wish you all the love in the world, But most of all, I wish it from myself.
And the songbirds keep singing, Like they know the score,
And I love you I love you, I love you,
Like never before, like never before, like never before
For you, there'll be no more crying, For you, the sun will be shining,
And I feel that when I'm with you, It's alright, I know its right
To you, I'll give the world
To you, I'll never be cold cause I feel that when I'm with you,
It's alright, I know its right.
And the songbirds are singing,Like they know the score,
And I love you, I love you, I love you, Like never before.
And I wish you all the love in the world, But most of all, I wish it from myself.
And the songbirds keep singing, Like they know the score,
And I love you I love you, I love you,
Like never before, like never before, like never before
Sunday
Wintry Enlightment
she will not be destroyed by death
she will not
she will learn all her lesson in a hurry
she will grow fat with knowledge
fat with wisdom born from one good-bye a year
she will accommodate loss,
embracing it's chubby, little form
coddling this grief
a seasoned mother she becomes
born from one good-bye a year
The Espousal of a Friend
My friend is marrying alone
Her mother is too broken to stand by her joy
Her father gives advice best reserved for the town drunk
My friend is marrying alone
She sets her anchor so far from herself,
she floats within her own tide of sorrow
Her beau studies her
He knows if he suffers long enough
she'll catch herself in his eyes and pause
My friend is marrying alone
A wedding of seven day old hearts
cut out in perfect proportion.
A ribbon of need and affection tie the two
My friend is marrying alone,
we throw rice at her feet
Ritual
A Boston wind pulls open our coats with confident hands
We continue, set on our destination
For eighty-five cents,
you can travel to a Pilgrims church
or a Puritan
Are they the same?
The benches are just as worn,
prayers just as ardent
I choose to stand on this trip, my face pressed close to the window
So close to the brief breaks of light...
Above,
Below,
Above,
Below
Finally I move from my metal perch, my companion lifts herself up
we disembark
Our quick farewell is unheard,
our fellow passengers are unknown
Pilgrim or Puritan?
Moderation
when does it begin
the unraveling of a second life?
a mild labor becomes panic
worry becomes plague
the first one unravels slowly,
through callow deceits and little deaths
a finger here,a theft there
a child's heart is more buoyant
than the heart of a second life
a child's heart spins a fantasy around every horror
a woman's heart spins a horror around every fantasy
the first life is loaded with bright light bursting naked into the day
pillows soft with baby powder and saliva
the second life is loaded with daybreak shuttered
pillows soaked with tears and vodka
a childs eye is set on the summer unfolding, pranks to be exercised
a womans eye is set on the clock, games long over
the first life promises shift around every angle
the second life promises transformation,
movement into a third,
the long way home
C.O.D.
A blood red box arrived today,
black satin held it tight
It contained my sins you see,
the devil wrapped them up for me
I opened them with greedy fingers
each one like a jewel...
fancied property,
skinny jealousies,
hardened slights,
perfected thefts of all kinds
After the revelry, I burned the black along with my hair
and the devil went shopping alone
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